As if we weren’t already over talking about the pandemic, with apologies – I want to bring up something that still clings on in my mind like an unwanted hitchhiker of a seed you that you find on your dog after a long hike: Goblin Mode.

We lovingly embraced it’s meme surge during the pandemic, and even now, it still lingers. Goblin Mode includes, but is not limited to: waking up, not changing out of the clothes from the night before (including pajamas), and signing into work remotely with little to no morning routine prior to work. Or maybe not wearing pants to that morning meeting at all. Camera’s off please! Not brushing your teeth before greeting co-workers online—because, well, only you know your teeth aren’t brushed yet while sipping that morning cup of joe, right? Not brushing your hair or teeth before the morning dog walk. Putting on workout clothes first thing with the intention of exercising, but then wearing them all day long. Working without breaks, because you can do just one more thing. Goblin Mode leaves many of us with a low-grade depression, but it’s hard to pinpoint exactly why.

I remember asking a friend when I first starting working from home in the beginning of the pandemic, how did he manage working from home for so long without needing real-time time face-to-face interactions. He said, “Well, I make sure to put on shoes and a belt every day before I sign in for work.” I sat there thinking about how there are days that I don’t change out of my yoga pants. How I had to buy a larger pair of pants after a while mid pandemic. Then luckily shed the weight back off after regaining my work from home balance post pandemic. I distinctly remember this really cute firefighter who I used to see often when I worked in the Emergency Room. I saw him at the grocery store on my break from working from home. I was wearing yoga pants, and a sweater. No make up. Pretty sure I hadn’t brushed my hair. He asked me if I was okay. I scratched my head of unbrushed hair, like yea sure I am okay. Why? Years later, now I know why he asked that. I looked like I had crawled out from under a rock that day. While working in the ER, my hair was always curled and I always had make up on. I looked downright unwell, and he was legitimately concerned. 

With time, I am learning self compassion. I used to scoff at the thought of self compassion until very recently. I have the tendency to be hard on myself, as many of us do. A lot of us do not talk to ourselves the way that we would talk to our family members and friends. And if we did talk to them how we sometimes talked to ourselves, there would be serious issues. In embracing self-compassion, I came to the harsh self realization of just how hard I was on myself. It’s challenging to be isolated in an apartment as a single person. But with time came the awareness that it’s okay if the yoga pants stay on all day occasionally. Some days are just like that. A little lip gloss with the yoga pants and mascara as simple as it is has the propensity to me feel better about my situation though. It’s the little things that make us feel good. Like a special perfume, or maybe a new color of lipstick. Brushing your hair or adding a little curl. You do it for you. It’s what makes you feel good. Just a little effort can really help to boost your mood.

Another friend, after seeing clients all day long, often feels exhausted and is content to go home and decompress with time to herself. She asked how I could still go out after work so often. My response was, if I didn’t go out, I wouldn’t see anybody. I need to go outside of the home in order to get social interaction. I’m very talkative with my neighbors (especially after the pandemic). I make extra effort to meet up with friends and have become the master planner. I talk with my parents multiple times per week on the phone, and am grateful for our long talks. Wordle scores are exchanged via text message between family members and friends every morning. Just in case I die, so somebody will know to come and check on me. All ill fated jokes aside… over time, I’ve made working from home work for me. I try to cut myself slack on days when I remain locked in athleisure. However, getting my workout done before the work day starts, and getting changed into regular clothes prior sets me up for a a pretty good day. Putting on shoes and a belt before signing in gives me the same satisfaction of those going into an office. It makes me feel like I am a part of society. As menial as it may sound, feeling like you are a part of something is a big deal. 

As human beings, we are social animals. Studies show that a hug lasting just as little as six seconds has the ability to boost endorphins like oxytocin. Even introverts feel a mood boost from reading in a café rather than at home alone. It’s healthy to be around others. How we do so largely depends on the structure of our days—whether working from home, outside the home, or being retired. We all find what works best for us, but at some point, we must come out of isolation for our sanctity of our own health. Embracing Goblin Mode is about giving myself a break when I don’t make it out of those yoga pants. Goblin Mode is being with our shadow side. It’s great to acknowledge and embrace it, but we mustn’t stay there lurking in the shadows for too long. Don’t be weird. Come to the light. It’s nice and sunny over here. 

Getting out of Goblin Mode is waking up early and putting in the effort just like you would with a regular day job. If I wake up late and immediately turn on the computer, it’s like a hand grenade with the pin pulled. Self destruction is imminent for me and all of those surrounding. A bad day is coming like a storm on the horizon. As I get older, I need time to ease into the day. Waking up early with enough time to get the things done that are important to me is what keeps me happy. While this may not work for everyone, it is what works for me. 

I would love to know how others are embracing and/or getting out of Goblin Mode. Feel free to e-mail me at KeriPowell@live.com and share your thoughts.